Back against the wall
The first time I ever heard of “back against the wall” was from the Made a Way song by Travis Greene. Until recently, I decided to google it up and found that it means ‘to have very serious problems that limit the ways in which you can act’. This is a common phrase among athletes. Normally, it depicts the experience of extreme exhaustion due to depleted glycogen reserves in the liver and muscles – hitting the wall.
Many believers feel similar spiritually, especially after praying for deliverance from besetting sins – sexual sin being the major one. Sometimes one may feel like a drunk man, having consumed illicit brew after a long day’s work, can barely get home because he makes three steps ahead and makes two backward if not five. Do not give up yet, even when doing so seems to be the best discovery of your time. Let us see why.
The call
Purity is a requirement by God in the life of a believer. Right from the Old Testament, God required his people to be holy, set apart for himself (Lev. 11:44-45). The New Testament echoes this as the distinguishing hallmark of those who are God’s covenant people (1 pet. 2:9-11). As Paul exhorted Timothy, purity is a non-negotiable requirement of those who would serve God as vessels of noble purposes (2 Tim. 2:20-22). Ultimately, heaven is described as a holy city, in which there will be no room for impurity of any kind (Rev.21:27). It is particularly interesting to observe in Rev. 22:14-15 that among others, the ‘dogs’, sorcerers, murderers and idolaters will be locked out of heaven!
The wounded soldier
J.C. Ryle aptly put his classic book Holiness, “True Christianity is a struggle, a fight, and a warfare. . . . Where there is grace there will be conflict. The believer is a soldier. There is no holiness without a warfare. Saved souls will always be found to have fought a fight.” Sexual sin is a struggle, waging war against the believer, typical of 1 Peter 2:11 where the devil is characterized as a roaring lion seeking who to devour. There is a character believers like quoting, more than conquerors. We, myself included, do not think for a moment about what needs to be conquered. Among the many things, sexual sin is one of them. As we pursue, it’s a direction and commitment to the Lord that we are making and the Lord is willing and able to grant us his grace that makes us respond in holiness by saying NO to all sin and ungodliness.
Brian Hedges argues that “this reality is not an excuse for laziness, but a summon to sober-minded watchfulness. But it is also a humbling reminder that we’re still waiting for final redemption and need the help of others in the good fight of faith.”
Winning the battle
C.S. Lewis said, “The smallest, good act today is the capture of a strategic point from which, a few months later, you may be able to go on to victories you never dreamed of. An apparently trivial indulgence in lust or anger today is the loss of a ridge or railway line or bridgehead from which the enemy may launch an attack otherwise impossible.” Put differently, choices matter. If I consistently choose to give in, there is no way to serve my overcoming…including waiting for a holy moment to repent or indulge so that I can make a wholesome prayer.
Finally brethren…
It is possible to give up on the idea that sexual purity as young people in the 21st century is really possible! Especially in such an environment, where we are daily exposed to influences that defile the mind. Yet, Christ has called us into this holistic context, to be the “salt of the earth” and the “light of the world. ” It means we are supposed to “abstain from sinful desires, which wage war against your soul” (1 Peter 2:11). This, for sure, is a tough call! It is a call to live out the mandate to bring godliness into the world through our daily lifestyle and practices, particularly in honoring God through a firm commitment to sexual and moral purity.
Looking back at my past, I remember several people that God used to shine light to me about sexual purity. My dad was the first to share insight about sexual immorality. I also had a circle of Christian girls in high school with whom we prayed for God’s preservation in purity. We used to share white sealed envelopes as a symbolic of a promise to ‘keep it sealed’ till marriage. As a young believer, I fervently prayed and resolved to abstain from sex until I get married, so that I would glorify God and have a testimony to share with others.
The journey of pursuing sexual purity was not all smooth. I found myself emotionally entangled as a 1st year in campus. Though I was zealous and enthusiastic about my Lord who died for me, the desires of the flesh had their share on me and I fell into the snare of ungodly hugs (those that arouse sexual desires). I share this with the conviction that Biblical sexual purity begins with the state of our hearts, minds and gradually our bodies. Thank God for the godly friends that blew the trumpet warning to my ears and helped me to refocus and keep on the narrow path.
I appreciate several things from my experience. First, that my dad was courageous enough to speak such solid truth to a class 8 naïve girl. Secondly, for friendships that were an integral part of my life- not just concerning sexual purity. Also importantly, ensuring that we keep going back to God for forgiveness of our sin and refocusing of our hearts. I know now that every resolve done for God’s glory has His everlasting arms beneath it, to bring it to safe harbors.
This may not be the case for everyone else. Sexual perversions have become so prevalent and normalized everywhere else. The media advocates for this in innumerable ways, sometimes in very subtle ways like advertisements and even children cartoons. The erosion of morals and values has been a speedy process. God have mercy! The believer must have an alert spiritual antennae that Peter talks about in first Pet 5:8, to discern such sneaking. The biblical truth must be affirmed even in the darkest parts where sin flourishes.
In light of the popular culture today, the Bible calls us to rise above the waves by not conforming to the pattern of the world. And perhaps the greatest question is HOW? Over the years, Joseph has remained to be one of the exemplary references of a youngster/teenager who resolved to honor God with his sexuality even when the environment would be described to have been ‘conducive/favorable’. His father knew nothing about his whereabouts, his brothers bothered less about his well-being and having been enticed by Potiphar’s wife (sugar mummy of our times), would have sounded like a highlight. However, Joseph knew that he had a God to honor and please even in a foreign land. Gen 39:9b “How then can I do this great wickedness, and sin against God? The Psalmist also helps us to appreciate that it only in hiding God’s Word in our hearts that will keep us from sinning against God. Psalms 119:9-11.
The unchanging word of God does not lose relevance regardless of the deceptions all around us. Here are some of the deep truths about chastity from scripture :
- Sex and sexuality are gifts from God; it is He who created both man and woman (male and female) in His image and likeness. Gen 1:27. This gift was only intended to be enjoyed in the context of marriage. Gen 2:22-25. Vs.25 “and they were both naked, the man and his wife and were not ashamed.”
- Sex practiced outside this context (either fornication-sex before marriage-or adultery-sex outside marriage- or and other perversion) is detestable to God and only attracts the out-pouring of God’s wrath. Rom 1:26-32 2:5
- Sexual sin is sin committed against oneself. 1st Cor 6:18
- My body is the temple of the Holy Spirit and I ought to keep it pure and glorify God in it. 1st Cor 6:19-20
- Rom 12:2 “And do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is- His good, pleasing and perfect will.”
In conclusion, the rewards of Chastity are worth the effort. To the Christian who keeps him/herself from being entangled in covenants that are ungodly will not be overwhelmed by its shame, guilt and consequences. To the spouses with whom trust in marriage is built and a foundation for a godly influence to the generations after. As Christ’s Ambassador, we glorify God by keeping pure. Sexual purity gives us the moral authority to witness to others and light the way for those who come behind us.
Would you like to commit yourself to honor God by staying pure? Would you like to commit in accountability with a mature friend, pointing each other back to the truth? You can sign your commitment on the link below as a reminder of your commitment to God and yourself.
In his book Fool’s Talk, OS Guinness says that “everyone is now in the business of relentless self-promotion – presenting themselves, explaining themselves, defending themselves, selling themselves or sharing their inner thoughts and emotions as never before in human history.” This is majorly through Social Media. People are seeking the widest possible public audience in the name of followers, friends or connections, often to the detriment of authentic lives and connections.
Among the many documentaries that caused a stir in an event field 2020 is one ‘Social Dilemma’ on Netflix. This docudrama directed by Jeff Orlowski tries to shed some light on the harmful impact of social media in the world today. They argue that platforms like Facebook are designed to be addictive and the primary goal of the people behind the platform is to use your data to make money. Consequently, they do all they can to draw and retain your attention, and they do it with lethal effectiveness to the extent that it is like a drug addiction.
People are almost running their entire lives online by being tethered to their devices all the time. As highlighted in the documentary, the creators of those platforms have designed them in such a way that they are addictive and are always demanding for your attention. They are not just technology companies with some geeks churning out code after code, but are psychological think tanks with armies of psychologists, neuroscientists and social science experts who use their knowledge of human vulnerabilities to capture your attention and get you addicted. Social Media is addictive by design.
To be sure that you are using social media in the right way, look out for the following things:
- Examine yourself
In the words of Haggai, we need to do a self-examination, or ‘give careful thoughts to your ways.’ The first question to ask is whether you are using Social Media responsibly, and if you have a healthy relationship with the same. The goal is to ensure that you are in control, and not the Social Media platforms controlling you. Here are a few questions to ask yourself:
- Do I spend unnecessarily long periods of time on Social Media?
- Do I experience time management problems due to unhealthy use of social media?
- Have my studies, social life, ministry activities and relationships been negatively affected due to social media?
- Do I have irregular sleep patterns due to use of social media?
- Do I feel down when I am unable to access social media, or if my posts are not getting the attention I need?
- Do I have more conversations online than in person?
- Has social media led me to other vices such as pornography, greed, jealousy or masturbation?
If you answered yes to one or more of those questions, perhaps it is time to examine if you need to apply some change or readjustment to your relationship with social media.
2. Take Corrective Measures
If you realize that social media has become your god, or it is on the verge of becoming one, or you have an unhealthy relationship with it, it is time to take action. Seek as much help available. You should also have some form of accountability with people that are close to you.
Here are a few measures for your consideration;
i) Define your Social Media use
Why are you using Social Media? Is it for entertainment, business, education, or personal development? If you figure out why, you will be in a position to know when social media is useful, or when you are becoming very hooked. If you are using it for entertainment, you should be able to tell if you are having too much entertainment, or if your entertainment channels are imbalanced.
ii) Be Self-Controlled
A person without self-control is like a house with its doors and windows knocked out (Proverbs 25:28). Do not allow algorithms to control your life and lead you from one video to another, with little regard for content, values or even your time. Also, guard yourself from drifting into mindlessly into these addictive habits. Apply self-control and consciously decide to not be enslaved.
iii) Avoid the ungodly
While there are so many benefits of social media, avoid any matter that is ungodly. It may be trending or forming the base of every discussion in your circles, but if it draws you away from God, let it go.
Instead, appropriate the grace of God, which teaches us to say “No” to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age (Titus 2:11,12). Keep off the ungodly content that would corrupt you.
iv) Do not be the fool
Social media has the ability to deceive and make you think that you are in control. In your mind, you might think that you are just trying to keep up with the memes and challenges, while in real sense you are being manipulated to keep scrolling endlessly.
Learn how social media works, and the impacts it has on you. You could even use the same social media to learn about the ills of social media. It is said when the product is free, like social media, you are the product. In the words of Ephesians 5:15, ‘be careful how you use your time, not like fools, but like those who are wise.’
v) Do not Seek validation on Social Media
Have you ever found yourself taking countless photos just to find the perfect one to post on social media? Do you find yourself checking your notifications over and over just to see if someone liked, replied or retweeted your post? Many times, we seek validation on social media, which blurs the truth about ourselves. Our self-worth must be pegged on God, and not on a bunch of notifications. While you promote content online, do not be unnecessarily invested in its outcome.
In conclusion, we must draw the line and define how much intrusion is too much. As explored above, scriptures guide us on assessing our virtual spaces and redefining them in a way that fosters truth and responsibility. While there might be too much pressure to stay hooked, we must fight to overcome and live self-controlled lives to God’s glory.
Josphat Gacau
It’s beautiful to have journeyed through an unfamiliar path to the end of it, happy and satisfied. STEM in FOCUS Kenya has been that path for me. I struggled with the uncertainties an the beginning. I even doubted that it was God’s will for me.
Looking back, God has worked on my Inner Self. My journal is full of accounts of joyous highlights and breaking moments. Interestingly, during the breaking seasons, so much growth happened. My perspectives on effective Christian living have been thoroughly shaped. The spiritual formation that has happened to me would have been hard to come by if I was not in STEM.
STEM helped me to review my interests and yield to the interests of God. The vanity of following interests that are not aligned to His mission was clearer during this period. The noises in my heart were quietened and I begun experiencing renewal of heart. Self evaluation has been a constant posture my life now. The accountability I got from colleagues was very instrumental in my wholistic refinement.
The interactions with students exposed me to the ministry needs in mentorship, discipleship, and leadership development. It was very humbling to see the impact from engaging these issues especially with individuals. Because the Lord was at work in their lives as well, they lives were transformed. I leave STEM very satisfied because of this.
What was an unfamiliar part at the beginning turned to be an incredible path. I praise the Lord for a chance to be shaped into a better disciple and seasoned worker.